Critters - Film Series

Cast:  Dee Wallace, M. Emmet Walsh, Scott Grimes, Don Opper, Billy Zane, Terrence Mann, Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Dourif, Angela Basset

Director:  Stephen Herek, Mick Garris, Kristine Peterson, Rupert Harvey

Genre:  Horror, Science Fiction, Comedy

This movie is:  Campy, Violent, Gory

I might be a little biased here. I grew up in the 80's with a lot of ( I feel ) the best movies from the horror genre. The 80's provided a wealth of cult classics in horror, science fiction and fantasy. Even comedy and dramas. Who hasn't at least heard of The Breakfast Club or Weekend at Bernie's? 

Yet, despite all the great films anyone can enjoy over and over from every genre, the real trademark of the 80's remains the schlock horror films, especially those peppered with comedic value in the form of bad guys with a sense of humor and heroes with double-digit IQs.

Critters carried on fairly successful corner-market with its creature feature focus that stepped outside of known animals like Jaws and Cujo, and focused more on original designs in the grain of Gremlins and Alien. 

If you enjoy schlock humor horror, you'll simply have to love the Critters series.

The first film introduces three reoccurring themes: the Crites - vicious little carnivores from space, Charlie - a drunk farm-hand with a heart of gold and enough courage to save the human race, and Ug - an alien bounty-hunter searching for the escaped Crites that land on Earth. 

Ug, Lee and the Brown Family

The Crites, letter dubbed Critters, land on Earth in the middle of an escape plan. Shape-shifting bounty hunters Ug and Lee ( I know, right? ) follow them and arrive in Grover's Bend, a tiny farm town suddenly plagued by flesh-eating porcupines. No one believes there are aliens at first except poor Charlie, who helps the bounty hunters, and Brad Brown, a young boy and Charlie's only friend.

The film follows the antics of the Critters, whose ravenous appetites take them from house to cow field to house, chased by the bounty hunters, the town sheriff and a kid on a bike. Billy Zane appears briefly as the first human death, queuing his shortest appearance in any film I've ever seen him in. Eventually the Critters are defeated, but just in case, Ug gives Brad a space pager, then hops in his ship with Lee and Charlie, who decides to be a bounty hunter to give his life purpose.

Fast forward two years and you've got Critters 2 with Brad returning to Grover's Bend just in time for Easter and a mess of new Critters. Eggs were left behind and there are even more of the monsters than before, and they've gotten moderately more clever. Ug, Lee and Charlie get a message from some intergalactic space police and are told they won't collect a bounty if they don't wipe out the Crite menace.

Including more subtitles so you know what the Critters are talking about, in all their foul-mouthed glory, Critters 2 introduces a redesign of the Crites, an exponentially higher body count and three times the gore.

Critters 3 finds new heroes and old. Charlie returns, but now he's joined by a bunch of kids, including one Leonardo DiCaprio. 

A whole new mess comes along, and in the grain of Gremlins, the Crites get into as much mischief as they do murder, including farting due to over-eating beans, burping bubbles from eating soap and getting a new look courtesy falling into a puddle of bleach.

Critters 4 goes the way of the dodo, or the way of most sinking franchises, and takes the Crites into outer space. Granted, that's where they started.

All the familiar faces are gone, save good ol' Charlie who remains as true to his character as ever, stumbling through the plot, dodging teeth and saving the day.

Throughout the course of the films you're treated to plenty of death, gore and rubber suits and puppets. There's no shortage of humor between the cursing Crites and the unlikely hero, Charlie. 

If you're looking for a good dose of the 80's - that progresses into the 90's, but who's counting? - and something to gorge yourself on popcorn to, go with Critters. It doesn't have the harsh feel of the Jason or Freddy series and you can walk away from it without missing a lot of plot development. You know what they're doing - they're eating. People, mostly. But burgers will do in a pinch.

Rating:  4/5 for good old-fashioned 80's humor horror.

Rent/Stream or Buy:  Buy it if you love the 80's horror genre with all its jokes. They're always good for a party night marathon. 

House Broken

Cast:   Danny DeVito, Katey Sagal, Skyler Stone, Caitlin Crosby,Ryan Hansen, Brie Larson, Matthew Glave, Thomas F. Wilson, Kiernan Shipka , Tabitha Taylor, John Farley

Director:   Sam Harper

Genres:   Comedy

This movie is:   Campy, Goofy, Raunchy

Flipping through comedy films I found a lot of opportunities, but I have a weakness for Danny DeVito and Katy Sagal. Who doesn't like the aggressive little dude and the hot old lady?

I went into it not expecting much. Its a little known movie - as a lot of the stuff I watch can be - and at first I thought it was just another made for TV film with no promise. 

The beginning started off a little flimsy, with too many puppy-dog-eyed moments and some over-the-top antics that weren't as funny as they were head-ache inducing, but after the initial five minutes of foundation passed, the hilarity ensued.

A movie about a man retiring and wanting his adult sons to move out, in the grain of Step-Brothers, focuses on Danny DeVito trying to convince his wife, the ever-enchanting Katy Sagal, to shove the boys out of the nest. In attempt to force her hand, he literally kidnaps his wife and drags her on a camping trip - complete with sedative darts and padlocked doors - while leaving his two good-for-nothing sons home alone, with no food, no money - as they have no jobs - and overdue bills that result in no water and no electricity.

Through a series of misadventures people can honestly relate to, as well as other wild mishaps that seem impossible to be true, the boys somehow manage to gain steady income, maintain friendships and find girls willing to accept them in all their ignorance.

There is a lot of cursing, so I wouldn't suggest it as a family comedy, and if you're sensitive about gay jokes or penile humor this is probably out. Its about two college age guys with college boy mentalities trying to make an easy dollar and refusing to move out of their parents home. 

There are a lot of awesome co-stars and the humor is sporadic with instances of attempts at maturity and seriousness from the characters that tends to parallel the reality of twenty-something guys raised by moms with mother-hen complexes and dads that let the jokes run too long.

If you're looking for a shameful gallivant through a field of comedy, I suggest House Broken. Go into it expecting funny, and you won't be disappointed.

Rating:   4/5 for fun and relaxed humor

Rent/Stream or Buy:   Rent/Stream - Its good but unless you really love Lampoons and American Pies, you probably won't add it to your inventory.